Messages And Romance in the LEP
by Epitome of Randomness
Summary: Holly and Lilli are messaging when Trouble comes up for a chat. Could there be romance in the air? COMPLETE
1. Messages

**The idea for this fic, which will be my first serious HxT came from a science lesson, where we were using the laptops, and I was trying to get some work done and my friend was IM-ing me like crazy, and she reminded me of Lilli. I DON"T OWN ARTEMIS FOWL or that really nice t-shirt that I stole from my sister.**

_oH mi godz da Commanda iz looking HOTT 2day!!!!!!_

**Who's this?**

_It's LILLI!!!!!!!! HI HOLLY!!!!!!!!!_

**Ok. Maybe you should go back to work Lilli.**

_Ummmmmmmmmm no jeez he is hott_

**Ok wat r u on? Thats Trouble, idjet!**

_Yeh wateva wats happenin_

**I was doing some paperwork…in fact, I think I'll get back to it now, toodles!**

_Wait! Im sooooooooooooooooooooo freakin bored n hungry Trubs wont let me go get a snack_

**That's because lunch was two hours ago. We talked then. Oh, and you've had two snack breaks since then, and you came over here and we talked even more. In fact, I don't know why we're talking now. Shit, Troubles coming over here. **

"Hi Tro-Commander." Said Holly, minimising the chat program. "Anything new?"

"Lilli keeps asking me for a break. Or a snack. Or a half day."

"Mmm." Holly swivelled on her chair and rifled through the papers on her desk. She handed Trouble a piece of paper. "Grub asked me to give this to you. He's complaining about being on Surveillance all the time."

"Mmmm. The only reason he's on surveillance is because the only thing to complain about on Surveillance is being on Surveillance."

Holly laughed.

"How's Artemis and Butler?" asked Trouble.

"They're good. Butlers on this cruise and Artemis is at band camp."

"Band camp?"

"Well, it's called Avalon Heights, and it's this summer Arts program. We just call it band camp to annoy him."

"Commander!" someone called across the room.

"Really what does he play?" asked Trouble.

"Piano and drums."

"That's quite a contrast."

"Yeah. He keeps saying he wants to learn bass-"

"Commander!"

Trouble chuckled. "The new Pete Wentz."

"Something like that."

There was a bing as Holly received a new IM.

_Holly its lilli da commander has a fone call._

"Right. Tr-You have a phone call, Commander." Holly turned back to her computer.

"You can still call me Trouble, Major."

"And you can still call me Holly."

Trouble nodded and went back to his office.

_Ooooooooooooooooooooohhh._

Wrote Lilli a moment later.

**Shut it, Frond.**

Trouble went back to his office, nodded to Lilli, who was typing furiously, and picked up his phone.

"Trub-el." Whined a familiar voice.

"What, Grub?"

"I'm bored. Surveillance sucks. And my partner is giving me funny looks."

"And your partner is?"

"Chix Verbil."

"For crying out, Grub." Trouble pulled up a form on his computer and began to fill it in. "I'm busy. Just talk to Chix and-"

"No."

"Grub. You're with the big boys now. Grow up."

"No."

"Don't make me put you on probation."

"Ha!" laughed Grub. "You can't do that to your own brother."

Trouble finished the form and sent it. "Too bad. I just did."

Trouble hung up. "Stupid, stupid." He muttered.

"Commander?" Lilli knocked at the door. "Did you just put Grub on probation?"

"Yes. Yes I did."

"Oh. Ok."

Trouble got back to work, trying not to think about the talking to his mother was going to give him. He really should move out. He had moved out a few years ago, but when Holly had disappeared, he couldn't cope on his own. (In other words, he was so depressed all he did was roll out of bed go to work and go home again.)

"Trouble?"

He looked up, realising he'd been sitting at his desk for about seven hours.

Holly came in and sat in the visitors chair.

"What are you doing here so late?" Trouble asked her.

Holly held up a CD. "Screening your calls." She said. "Eighty from your mother, mostly yelling, and twenty from Grub, who's emotions and moods range from shock to embarrassment to murderous anger. That one's probably my favourite."

She handed him the disk.

"Oh Gods. I can't go home tonight." Moaned Trouble, running his hands through his messy hair.

"You're still living with your mother and brother? I thought you'd moved out."

"I did. Then I…moved back in. You know."

"No. No, I don't know."

Trouble gave her a wan smile. "Sorry. But I put Grub on probation-"

"Finally."

"Yeah, he's had it coming for about five years, and now the beast has awoken inside my mother."

Holly laughed. "Why don't you stay at my place tonight?"

"Why not. Hey, it can't be worse than what awaits me with Grub."

"He might complain you to death!"

"Oh, the horror!"

**Yessir, a seriously HxT fic. Anyway, this has a plot, I SWEAR.  
And just on a randomish note, I was looking at my stats, and my story with the highest hits, Say Hi To Kitty For Me How? In the Bartimaeus section, has 515 hits and only 9 reviews. That's one review per 57.22222 hits. So I've made a resolution to review every story I read, and you all should follow my wonderful example.**

**Lol.**

**Luv Nicola xoxoxo**


	2. All the awkwardness

**I'm happy with six of you and upset with the other 68 of you. 6 reviews and 74 hits. That equates to 12.333333 hits per review. Thanks;**

**Bob78166, I admire my resolution too. Lol.**

**Troublerocks: Here's some more, please stop poking me**

**Ano-nimmus: I'm working on Say Hi To Kitty, just be patient**

**Holly25Trouble: Thanks for the review**

**Gun toten Girly: I luv ur review! **

**Random Person: Absolutely is spelt A-B-S-O-L-U-T-E-L-Y. And I love H/T shippers too. I actually have more trouble spelling definitly. Defenitly. Definitely. That's it.**

**Hey guys, the more reviews I get the faster I update. Even a 'That was ok.' Brightens my day when I open my mailbox. Ok, here it is, the next chapter.**

**Oh, right. Disclaimer. Astoundingly enough, I don't own Artemis Fowl or anything affiliated with the character in question.**

Holly lived in a small airy flat a ten minute walk from Police Plaza.

"You know I've never been here before," said Trouble, as she unlocked the door.

"You know," replied Holly. "I've never been to your place either."

"You should be glad."

After the five room tour (kitchen, lounge, bathroom/laundry, Holly's extremely messy bedroom and the tiny, tiny office) both elves sat down to enjoy some vole curry and late night TV.

"Boring," said Holly, flicking to another channel. On it was a horror movie about a possessed pixie.

"I've seen this." Trouble told her.

"Any good?"

"Better than nothing."

Both elves fell into a stupor that was woken by someone bashing loudly on the door.

"I'm coming, I'm coming." Yawned Holly, expecting Mulch.

She opened it to find a short woman in a floral dress.

"Are you Miss Short?" she asked.

"Well, I guess. It's Major now. Uh, who are you?"

"Well, I'm Trouble's mummy. Have you seen him? He hasn't come home."

Holly was sure she heard Trouble diving under an item of furniture.

She blinked. "Uh, no, I haven't seen Commander Kelp all day. Something about-"

"I found his jacket on the floor."

Mrs. Kelp held up Troubles jacket, which contained at least eight forms of ID, barring the Commander acorns on the lapel and monogram.

"He had...he gave that…to Lilli, his secretary, yes, to get it dry cleaned. And Lilli gave it to me because she has a date."

"But I wash Trubbys jacket!"

Hiding a snicker, Holly continued to bluff. "Perhaps it's a tough stain. Or something."

"A personal stain?"

_How on earth would that kind of stuff get on a jacket?_ Holly thought.

"Mrs. Kelp, what are you implying?"

Mrs. Kelp gave Holly a funny look.

"You think me-me and the Commander? I barely know Tr-Commander Kelp."

"You were friends before your disappearance."

"Colleagues would be more appropriate term. Sorry, but it is late-"

"Hmmm. Well. I'm sure he'll be home soon. Good evening, _Major_ Short."

Holly shut the door quietly, then burst out laughing. "She washes your clothes?"

"Little help." Said Trouble, who was stuck under the couch. Holly grabbed his hand and pulled.

"No, she just chucks my clothes in with Grubs."

At the same second they realised they were both holding hands. Holly snatched hers back.

"Yeah, I'm tired." She said suddenly. "Night."

"_Do you know where Holly is?" Trouble asked Foaly. "She's not answering at home or the office."_

_Foaly scratched his head. "I hate to tell you Trouble, but Holly, she's missing."_

"Holly." Said Trouble, waking up suddenly. He got off the couch and looked out the window. Dawn.

He stretched and was looking for his shirt (1) when Holly came in silently.

"What you looking for?"

Trouble dropped his pillow. "Shirt."

"Obviously. Breakfast?"

**1. Just to clarify, he was wearing pants, you dirty, dirty minded person.**

**That was one of the crappest things I've ever written, because I have vampires on the brain at the moment (I'm reading Peeps) and a line from it was going through my head, 'Wow, all the awkwardness of a one night stand and none of the sex.'**

**Anyway, I'm out of practice with writing romance so we'll call this a test.**

**The next chapter is a lot better, with Chix and Lilli and possible pashing.**

**To clarify again, the little itallicky paragraph is a dream, but not the plain text under it.**

**Ok? Done? Got a minute? Review!**

**Nicola.**


	3. Rumours

**Hi everyone…I kind of lost my plot sheet. Never think all the papers in a pile are homework or junk and throw it out.**

**Luckily, I found a half assed attempt at the third chapter, and I wrote the plot down again, so no harm done. **

**Fairy milly ready for duty: I love HxT fics, there should be more of them,**

**Gun toten girly: I fixed it so you know where it's a dream**

**Scarily obsessed: thanks for reviewing.**

**QueenOfBookworms: ounctuation. Sorry, what?**

**Captain Evermind: Yeah, it took me ages to find the Bartimaeus section.**

_Y were u l8 dis morning_

**Go away Frond**

_Ummmmmmmm no. ur nevva l8_

**I have been. When root was cmmdr.**

_So ur trying to impress Trubble!!!!!!!!!! So cute!!!!!!!! KAWAII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

**D'arvit you Lilli I am not.**

_R_

**Aren't**

_R_

**Aren't**

_So r. don't worry I wont tell him. Oh, look, uve got a visitor. We'll talk afternoon break._

**We talked at lunch. And I don't have afternoon break.**

_Msg me l8er_

"Hi Holly."

"Hi Trouble." Said Holly, minimising the chat window. "Sup?"

"Nothing. I just got off the phone with my mother."

"So have you decided? Are you moving out?" Holly asked him.

"Yep," said Trouble. "Found an apartment this morning. I've been looking for a while actually, and I'm moving in next Friday."

"Awesome." Holly swivelled to face him properly. "What about Grub?"

"He was wailing in the background when he heard."

They both laughed. Holly couldn't help but notice how cute Trouble looked when he smiled. They both stopped laughing for a second…

"COMMANDER!" Lilli called over the top of the cubicles. "PHONE!"

"See you later, Holly."

Holly waved at Trouble, feeling slightly dizzy.

She hadn't noticed his smile yesterday. Or if she had, it hadn't made her feel like this. Maybe it was seeing him with his shirt off…

"Hey, Trouble." Said Chix, bouncing up as Trouble hung up on Grub.

"Chix. Whats up?"

"Sun strips. No seriously man." Chix shut the door. "You and Short. Man, she's on fire! So's Frond, what a-"

Please let the phone ring, prayed Trouble.

It didn't.

"I mean, there's been chemistry between you guys since the Academy, but now you're walking to work together-"

"Chix, man, I don't want to have this conversation with you again. There's nothing between me and Holly. I mean-"

"HOLLY! First name basis-"

"Shut up, Chix, or-"

"Soon you'll be on her-"

"Private Verbil!"

"On her FairySpace top 8 friends!" completed Chix.

Trouble figured the best strategy to avoid discussing Holly was to bring up Lilli.

"What about, Frond, Chix?"

"Well, she's hot."

"No shit, man."

"Now you're speaking my language, man." Chix slapped Trouble on the back.

"Yeah…man."

There was a knock on the door. It was Holly.

"Commander Kelp?" she asked evenly. "May I see you for a moment. In Private, please."

"All right. Private Verbil."

Muttering, Chix shuffled out of the room and into Lilli's cubicle.

Holly shut the door.

"Rumours, Trouble, rumours. And it's just past lunch."

"Hol, there's been rumours since the academy. Seriously."

"I know. " Holly sighed. "It gets so annoying though. If Chix and Lilli got together though…"

"No, we're not matchmaking. And that's a direct order, Major."

They laughed again, but Trouble caught Holly giving him a funny look.

"Yessir, Commander, sir."

They both mock saluted.

"Anyway." Said Holly, taking a bite out of Troubles sandwich. "What's your new apartment like?"

"I've got pictures." Trouble opened up a file on his laptop. "Here."

Holly leant in and looked over his shoulder.

Trouble could just smell roses coming from Holly's hair. He closed his eyes for a second, just breathing in, when he was aware of someone poking him.

"Trouble?" asked Holly.

"What?"

"Did you, like, pass out?" she asked.

Trouble opened his eyes. Holly's face was inches from his own. Her eyes, her nose, her lips…

They both leaned forward…

This needs a rewrite. Anyhoo, I suck at writing romance, but I will need a few reviews before I update, I've got the next chapter ready and waiting. REVIEW!


	4. The latter, DVDs

Bob78166: Yes, I'm an evil little…and it's not everyone's favourite centaur.

Troublerocks: I was always a CxL shipper.

Scarily obsessed: You psychic little…

Another chapter, you know the drill, R&R or I set my sister on y'all. And your books.

"Commander, you're late." Said Lilli.

Holly and Trouble jumped and looked around. It was just the intercom.

Trouble pressed a button. "Yes, Corporal Frond. Thank you."

Holly shook her head. "Bye, Trouble."

"Wait, Holly-"

Holly slipped out the door.

"I am so stupid." She muttered to herself, sitting down at her desk.

_Wat were u doing in there????_

**Wat do u mean?????**

_Don't play dum. We all no im the dum 1 in dis convo. _

**No shit**

_Wat were u doing in there wiv Trouble_

**NOTHING**

_Even im not that dum wats going on???_

**NOTHINGNOTHINGNOTHING**

_Ha ha u rote nothing that means theres gotta be sumthing!!!!!!!!!_

**Fine I nearly kissed Trouble**

_!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!hang on_

Lilli was in Holly's cubicle in about eight seconds. She slammed the door shut.

"You nearly kissed TROUBLE?" she asked.

"Shh, shut it, Lilli!" squeaked Holly. "Don't. Tell. Anyone."

"I won't. Oh my Gods, you nearly-"

"Yes, I think we've established that."

Lilli jumped up and down and made squeaking noises.

"Why did you nearly kiss? Why not kiss kiss."

"Someone interrupted."

"Me?"

"Yes, you."

"Sorry!" said Lilli.

"I wasn't blaming you."

Holly leant against the desk. "What am I going to do?"

"Um…kiss him?"

"You definitely have a one track mind. No, I won't kiss him. He's in a meeting."

Lilli giggled. "So what. When he comes out of the meeting."

Holly rolled her eyes. Lilli's IQ must have dropped another 20 points. She'd be in the low thirties soon.

"I'm not going to march up to Trouble and pash him Lilli."

"Oooh, pashing now."

Yep, definitely the low thirties.

"You know what I mean." Holly completed. "He doesn't even like me that much. It was probably me standing so close or something…"

"Um, Holly? Trouble's been in LOVE with you since the Academy. Like, love at first sight. Literally."

"Lilli, you're being stupid."

"And you've been in love with Trouble, for, like, ever!"

"Have not."

"You are so in denial. You two are perfectly compatible with each other. And I've seen the way he looks at you."

"Um Lilli, how do you know words like denial and compatible?"

"I only act like a bimbo to get the attention. How else would I be in the LEP?"

"Right. So now I know you're smart, what do I do?"

"Well, act like it never happened, or confront him, or ki…"

"Don't want to hear that word again. Ever."

"Fine, I won't say it. Taboo. What are you going to do?"

"I have to think about it. Can you leave me alone for a while?"

"Sure. I won't message you."

"Thanks Lill."

"Call me tonight, 'kay?" Lilli hurried out of the room.

"'Kay."

Holly sat down and spun around on her wheely chair. She had known and been friends with Trouble, but before her Hybras adventure, she had found herself thinking about becoming Friends with him. Friends with a capital F. Maybe she should go talk to him. That would be the brave thing to do. Or, alternatively, she could call her sister and spend the night in watching DVDs, eating ice cream. She chose the latter.

Holly walked quickly out of her cubicle, head down, praying she wouldn't-

She slammed straight into Trouble, who dropped all three of the files he was holding. The very thick files.

They both gathered the scattered papers in silence, then when the awkwardness of the situation overwhelmed them, and they both began to babble:

"Trouble I-"

"Holly I-"

"About before I didn't mean-"

"I know you didn't mean-"

"No, I really need to say-"

"Do you want to talk-"

"No, it was nothing, nothing happened-"

"I think we should talk, really-"

"Later, I'm going home to-"

"Talk in my office. Now." Said Trouble in his Commander voice.

"Ok." Said Holly meekly.

Yes, friends with a capital F. There's friends. And then there's Friends. Get me?

If you don't, friends is just mates, buddies, acquaintances, and Friends are romantically involved. Comprende? 

You must have read the top note, so REVIEW. I'm not updating until I get 5 more reviews. And I know for a fact that that won't be hard.

Lotsa love to ma reviewers and lotsa bad karma to the…er…non reviewers,

Nicola.


	5. And Romance

Everything belongs to Eoin Colfer. Now, on with story:

Holly slid out of Troubles office and sloped back to her cubicle. She sat at her desk, took a sip of coffee and began to fill out an e-form.

Bing!

_So??????????_

**So?????????? What???????????**

_U and trubble!!!!!!!!!!! Wat happened!!!!!!!!!!_

**Nuffin**

_Do we have 2 go through this evry time we msg!!!!!! wat happened??_

**Ok. Well. Um….wait how did u know I was out of his office?**

_I heard u leave. Duh_

**Right. Well. U know how I walked rite into him**

"My office. Now."

"Ok." Said Holly meekly.

Trouble ushered her in, locked the door, turned off the intercom and unplugged the phone. Best to have no distractions.

"What happened, Holly?"

"What happened when?" Holly sat on the visitors chair.

"Earlier, in this very room, if memory serves."

"Memory serves, Sir. I'm not sure what happened actually."

"Well Hol-Why did you call me sir?"

"No reason." Holly clicked her tongue.

"I believe that you attempted to-to kiss me."

"Well, Trouble, I didn't." said Holly. "You tried to kiss me. I could file for sexual assault or misconduct or something."

"Would you?"

"Probably not. Almost definitely." She shrugged.

"And why not?" Trouble asked.

"I don't know. Too many forms. And I gave Chix about eighty chances."

"Mmmm. So you're giving me another chance." Trouble nodded. "Cool."

"Very cool. Trouble." Holly paused. "Why did you try to kiss me?"

"Why did you try to kiss me?"

Holly studied her hands. "I don't know. You're….um…well….you're kind of….."

"Sorry?" asked Trouble. "Didn't catch that."

"You're kind of…cute. And nice. There. I said it." Holly looked up. "Your turn."

"Erm." What could Trouble say? Yeah, you think I'm cute, I've been in love with you since I first saw you? "I think you're…I like….I think…I've been…I've been in love with you since we first met."

There was a clunk as Hollys jaw hit the floor.

"I think." Completed Trouble.

How do you answer a thing like that? Holly asked herself. She found herself saying, "You think?"

"I'm not sure." Trouble helped Holly up.

"How can you be not sure about something that big?" Holly asked him.

Trouble slumped in his chair. "I don't know. What about you?"

"Well you're cute-ish. In a rugged cop kind of way. And nice. In a nice way."

"Ok. We've established that I'm cute and nice."

"Uh." Said Holly. "And I really do like you. A lot. Lots. Um. I've never been in love before and I'm guessing you haven't-"

"Correct." Said Trouble.

"So I'm guessing the fact that I want to either die or faint or, uh, um…how do you say this to your boss…kiss you when I see you might mean I am in love…BUT I'm not sure about that because I've never been in love and-"

"I kind of feel the same way when I see you and stuff." Trouble blushed.

The elves shuffled their feet and looked around the room.

"I have liked you for ages Trouble." Holly told the floor. "Like, when we first met I thought you were pretty hot."

"Me too." Trouble said to the ceiling.

They both looked at each other and said at the same time;

"If feeling like that-no, you go."

Trouble rolled his eyes. "Ok. If feeling like that is being in love-which I've never been in-"

"**IthinkIaminlovewithyouTrouble**." Said Holly suddenly, eyes wide.

"What?" asked Trouble.

"I think I do love you." Squeaked Holly, terrified.

"Holy sh- I think I love you too."

Holly bit into her thumb. "I have to go," she squeaked, and ran.

_Um, Holly, I h8 2 tell u this, but I could actually hear ur entire convo._

**WHAT!?????????!?!?!?!?!**

_There's this little hole in the wall between his and mine offices and I could hear everything. But no 1 else could. CALM DOWN._

**I AM CALM BUT I JUST D'ARVITING TOLD TROUBLE KELP THAT I MIGHT BE IN LOVE WITH HIM AND I KNOW I AM**

_Don't type so loudly. Get in there and tell him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

**NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!**

_I would. He's probably going to come out there and tell you he loves you soon. I can hear him pacing._

**Fine im going in but plug up that hole u nosy little…**

Holly shut the door behind her, waiting for Trouble to turn around on his next lap of the office. Except she just wanted to get it over with.

"Trouble?" she asked, locking the door.

"Holly?"

Trouble wheeled around. "What is it?"

Holly thought she was going to faint. "I-I-I-I-I do love. You. I do love you."

Trouble stood there, stunned, mouth hanging open.

He blinked. "Wow." He said. "I love you too."

Then Holly did something Trouble had wanted her to do since that first day of the Academy. She kissed him. And he kissed her back.

The End.

FINISHED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry, just I don't finish many of the things I start (movies, conversations, homework) and it's a big relief to type those six letters, space and full stop. 

I was going to separate this into two little scrappy chapters but I figured it'd be easier and quicker to just do one. Then I was worried it would totally suck, but then again, it could just be crappy. Which it is to me. And this one took a long time because I had to keep writing to my version of romantic music, and it's irritating having to keep skipping to Your Guardian Angel but I kept getting writers block listening to Cancer (that song is beautiful, but a serious downer) or Baby It's You, which has now been exiled from my iTunes library. 

But seriously, I suck at writing romance. Never again.

Anyway, I'd like to thank all my reviewers who stuck with the story and reviewed nearly or all of the chapters, so thanks everyone!

Now review! Please! Pwitty Pwease!!

Nicola.


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